“Don’t worry. As long as you can see those iron railings, it’s okay.”

Christmas 2015. Beautiful, historic York. A comfortable Airbnb apartment overlooking the River Ouse, Christmas Day lunch at The Grange Hotel, walks along the city walls, ghost tours and cocktails under patio heaters in relatively mild temperatures for the time of year. What could go wrong?

It’s all in the planning. I divide my holidays into phases. I can’t help it — I’m an engineer and that’s what engineers do. And Phase One of this mini-holiday was completed satisfactorily. There were no issues on the motorway…